Are you aware of the effect you have when you walk into a room full of people?
“The time men spend in trying to impress others they could spend in doing the things by which others would be impressed.”~ Frank Romer
When someone walks into a room, all eyes will turn, and within seconds a judgment will be made.
Sometimes it is “Wowser, look at him!” Other times you look away; not impressed.
What sparks the “Wow” response? Why does your gaze linger? Is it the clothes, or is it something else? What do you see and what do you feel?
Sometimes there is an essence, a magnetism; maybe a sexual response.
Certainly, the clothes matter and in business, you will hear the statement, “dress for success” often. There is a psychological reason for it. Your clothing affects how you act and feel. When you dress well, and you know you look good, your confidence level is higher, and you perform better. Your appearance will also have a psychological effect on others; the people you work with, your customers, and virtually anyone in the room.
The English idiom “don’t judge a book by its cover” is a metaphorical phrase that means one shouldn’t prejudge the worth or value of something by its outward appearance alone.
What we wear paints a picture, but the image we present is so much more than the clothes we wear.
When you walk into a room, you do so with intent. What is lurking inside that veneered cover? What else is important?
What happens when you have a conversation and have to answer a question? Your response and your ability to articulate can make or break you. If your appearance is a facade, you are in trouble; that essence you gave off just evaporated into thin air.
A voice can also be magnetic and can draw someone in, relax, or excite them. The words you choose are essential and can show your knowledge and intelligence, but the tone of your voice is equally important. A clear, confident voice spoken in a well-modulated tone will have a positive impact on the listener.
As soon as you are in a conversation with someone, the ability to be a good listener is imperative. No discussion is one-sided. If you want to impress someone, stop talking, ask them a question, and let them talk. Watch the body language of the other person and ask them clarifying questions. Make eye contact and perhaps lean in toward the other person indicating your interest in them and their opinion.
The way you walk into the room and the way you speak is affected by your attitude. You have probably heard the term, “fake it till you make it.” I would not recommend attempting to fake your attitude. Your attitude shines through virtually everything you do. It shows in your facial expression, your eyes, your smile, body position, and movements, to name just a few. Your attitude is transparent. You cannot fake being positive or energetic. You can try, but I would not advise it. Organizations look for people who have a passion for life and show their enthusiasm through their actions and words. You cannot fake that!
We should all be excellent at communication, but we are not. Communication is a learned skill and no one is perfect. There are many simple techniques which you can practice each day to become better.
Some of the most common mistakes and the most irritating in my opinion are people who do not look at me when I am speaking. You can see that they are not listening and are already thinking about what they are going to say. Worse yet is being interrupted, or having someone walk away, while I am still talking. Yes, people do that!
Don’t do that. Instead, look for ways to improve.
Here a few tips:
- Spend more time listening, not talking.
- Focus on the other person, make eye contact, move toward them, not away.
- Ask plenty of questions and then clarify their intent.
- Never interrupt.
- Avoid finishing someone’s sentence.
- When you are unsure of what the other person is saying, pause when they are done speaking. Let them know you want to clarify and then ask them a question.
- Do not think about what you are going to reply until the other person has stopped talking.
How you dress, your non-verbal cues, and how you speak are all integral parts of how you communicate. Do them each with great care. We take our suits to the dry cleaners and we press our shirts. We should do the same with our verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
“One man is more concerned with the impression he makes on the rest of mankind, another with the impression the rest of mankind makes on him.”~ Arthur Schopenhauer
As always, thank ou for reading my blog. Have a successful day.
This article was originally published at Medium.com, https://medium.com/@lindalatt